


McCree and Martinez: Monster Hunters

by Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Monster Hunters, F/F, I know you all are tired of mchanzo but here we are, I never thought I would write for this fandom but here I am, M/M, My oc is a lesbian, mccree and my oc are gonna catch some monsters, mccree is gay, some of the chapters will parody other things, this will be very comedic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-06 17:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16392005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant/pseuds/Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant
Summary: Jesse McCree and Isaiah Martinez are famous monster hunters known across the land. Join them as the travel the land killing monsters (and smooching a few).





	1. The Butcher

Long, long ago, there were two monster hunters. Their names were Jesse McCree and Isaiah Martinez. Jesse was raised by a group of monster hunters and thus became a monster hunter. Isaiah wishes to protect people from monsters after her parents were killed by monsters. The two of them met when they both went to kill the same monster. They had a bit of rivalry at the start, but eventually came together to kill the monster and save the town it was terrorizing. Ever since then, the two of them have traveled together across the land, killing monsters and saving villages. This is their story.

"This is it, Isaiah," McCree told his partner, Martinez, as they stood at the entrance of a worn down old shack. "Do you have it?" Martinez asked him. McCree reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a broken-off fang. "Do you reckon the stories are true? That "The Butcher" is real?" McCree thought out loud, checking the bullets in his revolver. "Jesse, there isn't a single monster we've met that wasn't real, so I'm pretty sure a demon that drags his victims to Hell and chops them up and eats them is real," Martinez told him snarkily, readying her cross bow. McCree looked at the front door of the shack. "Alrighty then, let's do this. Ladies first?" he looked at his partner. "Fine, but you have to go first the next time," Martinez said sarcastically as she went up the worn steps and opened the old wooden door. It made a loud creaking noise, and the duo slowly went inside the shack.

"You'd think this demon would take better care of his place, yeesh," Martinez remarked, looking around the shack. The floors in it were cracked up and splintered, and the ceiling was falling out. The windows were all broken, and the curtains were all torn. The staircase was missing a lot of steps. Overall, it needed a lot of work done. "Okay, so where is the demon?" McCree asked, a bit nervous. "He'll be here any minute..." Martinez said, holding up her crossbow, "Once he finds his missing piece, which is the cracked tooth, he'll become complete. Once he's complete, he'll become very powerful, but he'll also be vulnerable to mortal weapons. We'll off him right here, and he won't ever hurt anyone again." Martinez took the tooth from McCree and placed it on the floor. "Hey demon, come out," Martinez shouted into the air, "It's us, it's your boys, Jesse McCree and Isaiah Martinez, and we're totally not monster hunters that want to kill you." "Are you sure this is gonna work?" McCree asked Martinez. "Yeah, just wait..." she replied, holding her arm out in front of him.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake. The tooth was rattling and jumping up and down on the ground. There were cracks forming in the ground with glowing read lights coming from them. McCree and Martinez looked at each other. "Oh shi-" the ground suddenly burst, revealing The Butcher, with his burnt and scared skin, and his blood-stained apron, and his glowing red eyes. He hid his face being a mask, with two giant horns coming from it, and a large row of fangs (he was missing one). The worst part was that he was carrying a giant hook, and judging by the pile of human bones in the corner of the shack, it probably wasn't for fishing. McCree and Martinez were dead quiet as The Butcher walked up to the tooth and put it in the empty space, and it automatically attached to the mask. "I AM COMPLETE!" The Butcher shouted into the night. "FUCK," McCree and Martinez shouted at the same time. "YES YOU ARE FUCKED, AND NOW THAT I AM COMPLETE, YOU BOTH SHALL PERISH," The Butcher raised his hook, getting ready to strike the duo down. "WAIT!" Martinez shouted, and The Butcher temporarily paused, "Wait, you motherfucker! Yeah, that's right, put the hook down. Before you chop us up and eat us, we challenge you to a little thing we call a rock off!"

"FUCK! THE DEMON CODE SPECIFICALLY SAYS I CANNOT DECLINE A ROCK OFF! ALRIGHT, I ACCEPT, BUT WHAT ARE YOUR TERMS?" The Butcher asked her in his booming voice. "Okay, so if we win, you're going to have to take your sorry ass back to Hell, and never hurt anyone again, kapeesh?" Martinez told the demon. "AND WHAT IF I WIN?" The Butcher questioned. "Then you can take McCree here back to Hell with you," Martinez replied. McCree nodded in agreement, but then he realized what his partner just said. "WHAT?!" he asked, panicking. "Trust me, Jesse, it's the only way," Martinez reassured him. "What the fuck are you talking about?!" he asked, questioning his partner's sanity. "FINE, LET THE ROCK OFF BEGIN!" The Butcher bellowed, as he laughed into the night. Within a span of 30 seconds, he delivered one of the greatest songs of all time. "NOW IT"S YOUR TURN," he told the duo.

"Come on, Jesse! Bring the thunder!" Martinez encouraged McCree. "I don't know, Isaiah. We can't beat him, he rocks too hard," he said sadly. "God damnit, Jesse!" she shout-whispered, "If we don't win, he's going to make a soup out of your skin!" "Isaiah, I know you want to win this, but why aren't we using our weapons?" he asked, confused. "You'll see," she said, winking. McCree finally understood what she was going on about. The Butcher, on the other hand, was getting impatient. "UGH, YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING LAME! COME ON, MCCREE, YOU'RE COMING WITH ME," he shouted, throwing his hook at McCree. "NO!" Martinez shouted, shoving McCree out of the way, firing her crossbow at The Butcher. The arrow flew across the room and cracked a piece of one of The Butcher's horns off. "OW, FUCK! MY FUCKING HORN!" he shouted, but then realized what this meant, "OH NO." "From whence you came, you shall remain, until you are complete again!" Martinez recited, sending The Butcher plummeting back into Hell. "NOOOOOOOO," he cried out, "FUCK YOU, MCCREE, AND FUCK YOU, MARTINEZ! I'LL GET YOU TWO SOME DAAAAAAAY..." and with a final shout, the floor closed up, the room went dark again, leaving behind a cracked-off piece of The Butcher's horn. McCree walked up to it and picked it up and put it in his coat pocket. "Well, that's that," he said, turning to Martinez. "Yeah, I did most of the work," Martinez replied sassily, "Come on, let's go to the next town."


	2. The Oni Brothers

After some time, McCree and Martinez's travels lead them to the village of Hanamura, Japan. There were legends that there were a pair of Oni brothers who used to be human, but were cursed by a powerful being to remain onis forever. It was rumored that they stole the souls of whoever came into their path. So naturally, McCree and Martinez tried to hunt them down.

"Okay, so is this their fortress?" Martinez asked McCree as they walked through the gates of an abandon fortress. "Yes, the townspeople told us to take a right into the deepest, darkest part of the forest, pass all the spooky looking trees, and that there should only be one abandon fortress there," McCree told his partner. "They also said the only way to defeat them is to use the special arrows they gave us," she said, loading her crossbow. Suddenly, they saw a shadow run behind them. "What was that?!" McCree jumped, readying his revolver. The duo felt a strange presence in their midst. Before they could take another step closer, they heard a harsh voice shout: "Stop!"

They turned around to find one of the oni pointing a bow and arrow at them. He had dark, grey skin, and two small horns coming out of his forehead. His eyes were completely white and he had a tattoo all along his left arm. "Who are you?" the oni asked them in the same harsh voice. Martinez looked over at McCree and saw that he was blushing like crazy. Shit.

"Uh, uh, were... monster hunters... and, uh... we've, uh... come to kill you..." McCree stuttered, infatuated by the demon standing before them. Martinez just gave him a look of disappointment. They had ONE job, and he freaking falls in love with the demon. "Is that so?" the oni asked, obviously not impressed, "Alright then. Well I am Hanzo of the Shimada Clan. My brother Genji and I were cursed to forever remain oni by a powerful being. NOW YOU MUST DIE-" "WAIT!" a new voice shouted. McCree and Martinez turned around to see another oni, who they presumed to be Genji, running towards them. He wore a white kabuki mask with fangs and horns on it, and he was wearing all black, and he had a katana tucked away on his back. 

"Brother, what have I told you about scaring strangers?" Genji scolded. "But Genji, they are monster hunters," Hanzo told his brother. "Monster hunter or not, do you really want people to believe those awful rumors about us stealing souls?" Genji asked a bit sassily. "Wait, so you're NOT going to steal our souls?" Martinez questioned. "Ugh, no. That's just a rumor. It's just something people tell their kids so that they don't go into the woods alone. I guess someone told you two that and you believed it," Genji explained to the duo. "Yeah, we believed it alright, heh heh..." Martinez laughed, feeling a bit stupid now. "Well, I'm Genji. I see you've already met Hanzo," Genji glared at his brother, "Hanzo, is there something you want to say to these two strangers?" "I... am sorry. I misjudged the two of you. It's not your fault people make up rumors about us stealing souls," Hanzo apologized to the monster hunters. 

"Apology accepted! Hi, I'm Jesse McCree, and this is my partner, Isaiah Martinez!" McCree shoved Martinez out of the way and shook Hanzo's hand. Martinez scoffed as she picked herself off the ground. "Uh, sorry we tried to kill you two. We kind of hunt monsters professionally..." Martinez apologized, dusting herself off. "It's alright. It seems like your partner has taken a liking to my brother," Genji remarked as he looked off at McCree and Hanzo talking."Yeah, sorry if he bothers your brother. He's like that sometimes. Anyway, how long have you and your brother been onis?" Martinez asked. Genji looked down at the ground. "It's been... a while. Anyway, do you two want to stay here tonight? I'm pretty sure you're both tired. Plus, it's safer to walk in these woods during the day than during the night," Genji offered. Martinez looked at McCree and Hanzo again. "Y'know what? Sure. It's been a long day for all of us," Martinez finally said, "Hey, Jesse! We're staying here tonight!" "Alright," McCree shouted back. The four of them made their way to the inside of the castle, and Martinez sighed. Who knew that at one point, the townspeople's legends ended up not being true?

The next morning, Martinez and McCree packed up their stuff and said goodbye to the Oni Brothers. As they walked through the woods, McCree was awfully quiet. "Alright, what happened between you and Hanzo?" Martinez asked, snapping McCree out of his deep thought. "Well, uh, we... we kind of, uh... hooked up." "What?! Really?" Martinez asked in surprise. "Yeah, we promised that we'd write to each other and all that stuff," McCree explained, getting a little embarrassed. "Well, that's cool," Martinez remarked, "But when am I going to get a monster girlfriend?" "Oh, Isaiah. I'm sure your time will come soon," McCree joked as the two went on their way out of the woods.


End file.
